Intro

Welcome to the Mental Offload podcast, where we talk about women balancing work and life. It's the podcast that combines leadership, feminism, and coaching tools so you can tackle it all with more confidence and less stress. Here's your host, Ivy League mba, certified feminist coach and corporate warrior, Shawna Samuel.

Shawna Samuel

Hi, offloaders. I scrapped my episode that I plan to release this week. Well, I didn't scrap it. It will come out next week. But I wanted to record a special episode for you because I know that for many of us, we're coming off of a really tough election in the US for me, since I live in France, watching the election results means getting up at 6am on Wednesday to start watching returns come in. So I've had about a day to process the election results and I'm recording this on Thursday.

And I know a lot of you are hurting, and not just in the U.S. frankly, I've heard from friends, family, listeners across four continents now who are hurting as well and recognizing what the election of Donald Trump means for the world in our globally connected world. So I'll be honest, I turned off the TV as the first post mortems of the election started to come in, because you and I, we all know what's coming, right? Every analyst on TV is about to pick Kamala Harris apart and her campaign apart. You know, like, was she too far right on this issue? Did she say enough about that issue? Some of the analysis will be about the strategic choices of her campaign, and that's fair enough. But some of it will be about her as a person. Was she compelling enough? Did people just not like her? And I know that this big question is coming, like, is America ready for a woman to be president? I'll be honest, I turned it all off preemptively. I'm not ready to watch her get picked apart as if she's a product that we're tweaking for the marketplace. And it's not just that.

No matter what you think about her as a candidate or where you think she might have fallen short, these kinds of questions can really trigger you. If you're in any kind of leadership position yourself, you've probably braced yourself at some point. You have your appearance, your demeanor, your capabilities picked apart in that same fashion. And if you do happen to measure up in the eyes of whoever is doing the judging, you've probably sniffed out the doubts and the bias of people around who are like, well, we like you. But I'm not sure if all the rest of the people are ready for a woman in the Top job. It's not just about one woman and her quest for the top leadership job in the country. Some might say the top leadership job in the world. When we see those postmortems come through, it's about all of us and what we face in the world. You know, you get that same gut punch feeling you'd get coming out of a really harsh job interview. It can be deeply discouraging and demotivating. And I've seen it in those of you who've gone a little bit quieter this week, whose eyes are looking just a little bit dimmer, wondering if there's space for you, if you can belong in spaces where people who look like you don't always get ahead.

So I'm recording this episode for you. I'm not going to offer actionable tips today, not going to dig into research. Today's episode is going to be raw because here's the perception that I'm already hearing out there. Maybe people aren't ready to accept women as leaders. And I think that perception, whether it's true or not, just knowing that that perception is out there, it encourages women to take a step back in their own lives, to lower their ambitions for themselves. And I don't think that's the right take home message. I'd argue that we need women in leadership now more than ever. Even more than that, I think it's time to throw down the gauntlet to lead with more courage and more conviction than ever. Now is the time when we need women of purpose and passion and integrity to lead. We need women's voices. We desperately need diverse voices at the table when important decisions are being made. And we need women who feel confident advocating for their values. We need women in positions of power everywhere, not just in politics, not just in the business world, everywhere. And I say this not because I think that women naturally make better leaders. I hear that sometimes from actually some very well respected people who are like women, naturally have higher empathy and whatnot. And sometimes that's true and sometimes it's not.

So let's call bullshit on that. You know, I've seen some women in positions of power who do not lead with empathy or with integrity. But I actually think it's crucial to have frankly some bad women in power too. Because the wider range of women we see in leadership positions, the more it removes women from this sort of pedestal of leadership that only some holy, perfect, in other words, unattainable for any human being, sort of model that they could achieve. I think we'll know that we're closing the gender gap in leadership when we have a full range of styles and diversity of values being represented in positions of power everywhere. And when we talk about women in power, let's not get hung up on titles, because the truth is, you can be a leader, whether you're the CEO of a business, whether you're a volunteer. In fact, I'd argue you're leading right now, whether you're choosing to or not, in the role or roles that you're in, just by how you choose to show up with your family, with your friends, in your community, in your workplace.

Leadership happens everywhere and at every level. And leadership doesn't have to look loud or brash or boasting. You know, the sort of machismo that we've seen get elected in the US or what I think, you know, Michael Lewis so memorably referred to in one of his books, maybe it was Liars Poker, as like, the big swinging dicks of Wall street, right? That style of leadership is just one style. I actually had a friend on French TV recently. She was poised and polished, but very bold in her style as well. She called the guy next to her out on bias. She threw out zingers. She cut in to get more air time. I loved watching it. But leadership can also be quiet. It can look like the person who's asking questions and listening really intently, you know, who leans in when someone raises a concern and is like, tell me more quiet. Leadership is leadership, too. So I want to remind you that leadership has many faces, a huge range, and lots of stylistic diversity to it. Because I think one of the things that we need in the future of leadership that I think is coming is for more of us to feel comfortable leading authentically rather than trying to fit some stereotypical mold of what we think it looks like. Look, without a doubt, this week has been a blow for many people.

But rather than see it as a call for women to retreat and question our place in the pecking order, I see it as a call for help. The systems of oppression that we're living and leading within, they are dying to be smashed. But we can't dismantle these systems without the tools and the stamina to do the work. So this week, no, it's okay if you're licking your wounds. It's okay if you're not ready to get back out there just yet. Process what's happened and what you're feeling. But don't get stuck there. If there is even 1% of you that still sees your purpose and your value, then Focus on that. Instead of protecting your light and letting it shrink inwards, focus on letting it grow bigger and stronger. Grow that 1% into 2%, into 10% into 20% until you're ready to get back out there. When you're ready, recenter on your purpose, whether that's fighting for rights, advocating for education, modeling equality at home, or getting the top job at work. We all need to focus on strengthening our voices so that we have what it takes to go out there and be heard. To keep raising those voices, even when they're not getting heard again and again and again. Will that work be easy? No. Will you be marginalized? Sometimes? Yes.

But here's the thing. As far as I can think back in the history of people trying to claim power or fight for their rights, I can't think of an instance where it all went to plan. And I can think of a lot of instances where the people currently in power fought dirty to stay there. But here's the other thing. I know that in a world that doesn't always welcome women to the table, the answer is not shrinking back and making ourselves smaller and questioning whether that table is ready for us to be there. It's making our work bigger and more visible, making our voices bigger and louder so we can take up even more space at those biased tables. Women's leadership, your leadership. It matters now more than ever. So, offloaders, let's regroup, let's restrengthen, and then let's get back out there and lead with courage, with conviction, and with integrity. The world needs you. All right? I'll be back in your ear next week to talk about burnout and holidays and all the rest of the good stuff. Till then, talk to you soon. Are you ready to step into a life where success at work and success at home go hand in hand? Then it's time for the mental Offloads Shut Down Ritual. It's a proven, practical method to help you log off and leave work behind. You can own your evenings and be present with the people you love. And the Shutdown ritual makes it easy. Gain the power to truly walk away from work and be present with the people who matter most. It's just what you need if you want to achieve big things in the world without losing your mind. Ready to reclaim your time and your peace of mind? Go to www.thementaloffload.com/shutdown and get your free download of the shutdown ritual. That's www.thementaloffload.com/shutdown and join me next week for the next episode of the Mental Offload podcast.